Indecision and Confusion

I really want to know where indecision, confusion and the inability to make a choice comes from. These aren’t choices that are huge or life-changing or even have any effect on the big scheme of things.

I have been having serious difficulties with making decisions on every day, little things, such as what to name a new Blog site, not the blog itself – that seems relatively simplistic to me – but the name of an alternate Blog is filling me with the kinds of symptoms only a writer faces when staring at a blank page.

I have no trouble writing things down, as can be seen by this newest blog – but things like whether or not to buy that sweater that’s on sale that I suspect I may never wear again or buy new winter boots vs. getting my old boots repaired, or moving forward with starting ‘some’ kind of writing career and taking the next step. These are the things that leave me paralyzed with indecision and make me run away from the laptop, press the ‘shut down’ button and read a book. Or send me sighing with frustration to Facebook where I spend a good hour or more playing silly games like Bubble Witch or Gardens of Time.

Why do I get so hung up on these kinds of decisions? It isn’t as though it will alter my world by any dramatic means, nor will it seriously impact anyone’s life in any way, shape or form. I truly don’t understand where this lack of decision-making ability is coming from. It isn’t as though I’ve never had to make hard decisions before.

If I were a gambler I suppose I could put down a hefty bet that some of my decision-making reluctance stems from having to make those big decisions in the past which had to be done, but were not in any way enjoyable. I’ve had to file for divorce, call the police on numerous occasions…and trust me, that is not an easy decision to make, file for bankruptcy, quit jobs, call on many different social programs for assistance in some form or another and even give an interview in a closed room at the local police station – yeah, I’m not what I seem on the outside. 😉

But even with all of that aside, it still doesn’t leave me with any kind of understanding or solution as to how to solve the indecision dilemna.

I believe that I’ve just reached the end of my current thought bubble and sad to say, I don’t believe I am any closer to a Blog title than I was before, but I might be a bit closer to an understanding of how I got here – which in a roundabout way may lead me to the path of clarity.