Just lying here on my couch, not feeling great when it occurs to me that I forgot to do something. Then it hits me….oh yeah, I forgot to have a life. Lol. Well kinda, sorta…but yeah my life has no resemblance to what l envisioned for myself.
Sometimes or maybe all the time the plans we make for our future never really manifest the way we had planned. In some cases it can be as if the life we thought we were going to have doesn’t just take a left turn or the wrong fork in the road. Sometimes it’s as though we completly missed the fork and the plans and suddenly where we are looks nothing like what we’d imagined. Like not even close. Almost as though we’re living some strangers life without any clue as to how we got there.
My brother said something back in March that struck a note with me since I’d already been down that road many times myself and still do to some degree. But anyways the story is that he was envious of his girlfriend’s family and how they were well off financially with investments and properties and the like and was regretting not having done the same when he was younger. (Playing the what if game and feeling bad about not being smarter about certain life “things.”)
We all do this to some degree at some point in our lives and having done it myself many times over the years I had an epiphany of sorts.
I’m sure this has been said before but liklely in a much more flower powery way. As soon as you begin comparing your life to another’s you will always come out on the bottom, because lets face it, most of the time we compare our lives to someone we envy because they seem to be so much better off than we are.
The thing is though that no one else has had your life. No one else has had your experiences and no one else grew up in the exact same environment you did with the same external influences affecting your life and choices. Playing the what if game is as pointless and unproductive as beating a dead horse. The horse is still dead and your past is still in the past.
Even if you could go back for a do-over there’s no guarantee that you wouldn’t still make the same choices. Maybe you would have a bit more knowledge if you took what you knew now with you, BUT…in my experience knowledge isn’t as big a determining factor as your feelings. Strong emotions are typically the main driving force behind any major decisions we make for ourselves. Whether it be passion for our work, love for a partner or the desire to own a home. Knowledge helps but strong feelings are typically what drives most people to make the choices they make and choose the things they do, not wisdom.
So the next time you see something you don’t have or are envious of and think “gee I wish I had that,” keep in mind that even if you could have a do-over (which you can’t btw), how certain are you that you would make different choices?
Something to think about for sure.