Bad Ships and Tumblr Posts

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Yes I have a Tumblr post. And no I didn’t know what the majority of those posts entailed until after I began writing Fan Fiction. Now I’m sure what I have to say about Tumblr won’t be popular or even well-received, but I’m not interested in approval.

From what I can tell, Tumblr is all about approval and disapproval. Needless to say I don’t have a lot of followers there, never mind the fact that it’s filled to bursting with bad “ships,” graphic ships and lots and lots of conflicting opinions. It’s as though anyone with a phone creates a Tumblr account and posts whatever little thing pops in their mind that they happen to be passionate about.

N: Short for romantic relationship, popularized in fanfiction circles.

V: To endorse a romantic relationship.

N: I see a ‘ship developing between Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley.

V: I ship Ron/Hermione

For the rest of the people using Tumblr, they have turned a simple fandom into an obsession with shipping characters who have no business being shipped together. Let me be clear, I will never ship characters who have no business being together. I don’t know about all of them, but I’ve seen enough to know that the things people ship can get very dark very fast and the people writing this garbage have no idea how damaging it is.

Examples of bad ships include incest, rape, bondage, turning heterosexual characters gay and gay characters straight because the author or fan doesn’t like them as they are. They can argue that it’s just because they are in love with the fictional character who doesn’t match their sexual preference all they want, but the very act of changing a fictional character’s sexual orientation is bigotry. Plain and simple.

If it was reality, shipping a gay man like Dorian Pavus with a female protagonist is as bad and abhorrent as communities who believe people who are attracted to same sex relationships need to be re-educated or that they are sick. Stop doing this! You are adding to everything that is wrong with society as a whole. It doesn’t matter if it’s fiction. If you continue to treat rape, incest and re-education as okay because it’s imaginary you are making intolerance normal.

It is disturbing and disheartening to see stories of incest, abuse and “rescue” romances as having the highest viewership on Wattpad. Readers are just as bad when they flock to these kinds of “ships” because they perpetuate the belief that thousands, sometimes millions of people believe this garbage is okay and something that should reach t the top of the readership list.

If that wasn’t bad enough, I read a post today by a gay person who was crapping all over straight white women who ship gay people. Really? Why? Unless the author is using the aforementioned “bad” ships I don’t see the problem. Also, speaking only for myself, the only reason I ship ANYONE is because I am in love with love. I love to write romantic love scenes with or without an intimate encounter. Why? Because love is love no matter who it’s being expressed with. But that does not make incest romance, slave romance (of those I’ve seen all of them are white), rescue romance (old rich person saves poor or abused poor person) okay. None of it is okay, nor is it realistic, normal or in any way remotely romantic. It is all pure fantasy and authors who write this garbage are belittling and degrading people who have lived through these horrors.

I have no illusions that the practice of shipping crap like this will stop any time soon, but I hope that by writing romances that work, that are believable and which are based on mutual respect, love and passion will at some point replace the crap some people seem to view as quality fiction representative of society as a whole.

 

Valentine’s Day and Dating

I see a lot of posts on social media sites sending the Happy Valentine‘s love message to their friends, family and significant others. For most of us who aren’t currently in a relationship, we don’t like seeing these posts. We wish we had someone to buy a gift for or go out for dinner with or stay in eating by candlelight while indulging in some much-deserved romance with our significant other. Unfortunately we can’t do these things since we’re still single, possibly still dating and have not yet been lucky enough to find our

special someone.

I realize not everyone shares this viewpoint. There are many who are perfectly happy and content with being single and love the single life and have no regrets regarding the path their lives have taken. To them I say “good for you!” It is good to know that there are people out there who don’t dream of romantic getaways for two or sharing dinners or movies with their best friend/partner or sleeping late on Sundays with someone they love. But I am not one of those people.

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted a best friend to share my life with. To hold hands with, to dance with, to share a romantic dinner with to escape for a weekend getaway with. Alas, that was not to be. I married at a very young age (by today’s standards), and for all the wrong reasons and have now been divorced for 11 years. For most of those years I was perfectly content being single. Sure I didn’t like when Valentine’s Day came along and I found myself (yet again), still single and feeling envious of those who no longer had to keep looking for their “someone,” but it would pass quickly and another year would go by.

But then something changed. I filled out an online dating profile recently and I started getting attention. Male attention. And it was good and it was fun and I started imagining what it would be like to go out on Friday nights with a date. Or spend a Saturday with someone who was attracted to me. Or even just have someone of the opposite sex to talk to.

Sounds good right? Well yes and no. I have successfully shed my indifference to dating and the possibility of finding someone to share my life with. But the reality of that is not as simple as just waking up to the possibilities. I may have removed my indifference, but the actual “finding” part will take time. They say that whatever you are looking for will show up when you least expect it and I believe that to be true. The more aware I am of the fact that I am “alone” and the more attention I give it, the more likely I am to not find anyone for the simple fact that I keep focusing on what isn’t here.

So what’s a single guy or girl to do? Stop looking? Well no, that obviously won’t work either but as they say, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. The best thing you can do and what I am going to be doing, is to work on improving my perception of myself, creating a life that has room for someone else, keeping a flexible schedule that allows for the unexpected and making room in my thoughts and my life for someone else to fit into, all while doing things I enjoy doing that make me happy and fulfilled and desirable to others.

In essence I will become a magnet for what I am looking for. Are you a magnet?

For fun: Wiki Love                                For a bit of yum: Spoonful

For men: Ask Men                                For women: Your Tango